craigslist

Craigslist rocks. Seriously.

First Terry and I found each other there, seven months ago. Then a few months later I put my parent’s old car up for sale on it, and literally 15 hours later I was signing over the pink slip to a nice older couple (whose names were John and Kathy oddly enough). This last week I put my old king size bed, computer desk, two washers and a dryer (I had my own little appliance store going…), TV stand, and electric fireplace on it. I had my first reply in 31 minutes, and by the following Saturday afternoon had sold all of it… wow, better than garage sales…

Now even Weird Al is singing about it…

Heading off on a long drive to Vegas tomorrow, for a wedding and to meet most of Terry’s family. Wish me luck… I have to admit I’m a little nervous.

relearning

Last week Terry had a bad day at work. I could hear it in her voice before she told me over the phone during our regular midday call. Nothing horribly wrong, just a rough one, like we all tend to get from time to time.

But the reaction it caused me after we hung up bought back bad memories. I went back to work with a familiar old dread in the pit of my stomach like I used to get when I knew my ex wife was in a bad mood, and I would know life at home that night would be strained at the very least. My daughter would spend the evening “hiding out” in her room (I’ve read part of her diary she left behind, and was surprised at the level of conflict between her and mom), and I would do my best to avoid Kathy myself.

But as I made pizzas back in the production room after my lunch break (ah, what a glamorous job…), I thought it out, and reminded myself Terry is not my ex wife, who would give me that stare that said I hate my life, and made me feel I was somehow responsible for her unhappiness.

Last year as I read a couple books on relationships and self improvement, I learned something important, it’s not my job to make anyone, i.e. parents, siblings, SO, or children, happy. Everyone has to do that themselves, Terry included. I spent over twenty five years trying to make my wife happy, and it fucking wore me down, and out.

And guess what? When I got home, Terry had a nice dinner on the table, and beautiful smile for me as well. She still wasn’t in the best mood because of her day, but we talked during dinner, and then went out for coffee later and I told her about what I wrote here. She told me that she has had the same sort of feelings come up before too, due to her second marriage to a guy she should have never married. Then she reminds herself I’m not him.

I don’t know how to wrap this post up, I usually like to throw in a zippy little ending, but I don’t have one here. I don’t want to write about how great it’s been finding someone like Terry, or something like that. It’s just that it’s so easy to talk to her and I didn’t have that with my ex wife. Sure we talked, but most the time we were just skimming the surface, especially in the later years with “safe” subjects only, it’s so refreshing to be able to talk about anything with Terry, and that makes me very happy.

And as this is Father’s day here in the states, to all the blogging dads out there, have a good one!

work

I work in a large refrigerator. 42f (5c) all day long. I wear a black ski cap under my company issued baseball cap that all employees have to wear, along with a heavy winter jacket, also in black. We had a heat wave this last week and it was funny to see the looks on peoples faces as I came to work with the jacket in 85f (29c) temps.

There are four other woman I work with in the deli “production room” as it is called. We make sub sandwiches, wraps, salads, dinner bowls, and pizzas. My “speciality” is salads and pizzas, but truth be told, it isn’t very hard or challenging work, even though we had four people wash out because they weren’t fast enough. Funny, because many days (like today) I don’t feel all that fast. But neither did Clara or Megan today either, I think some days we just run faster than others.

We have become close in the time we’ve worked together though, I guess working in a room 20 by 15 feet does that. We all have nicknames, Clara is the Queen Bitch (she proudly admits it), Megan is Crybaby, Simple (yes, that’s her name) is Complicated, and Stephanie is Chatty Cathy. I’m called the Captain, but none of us are the boss in our room, the deli dept manager is, but I guess with Clara and I being the oldest, the others just look to us to tell them what to do, and if no one has taken command by the time I get to work, I step into my old management role just because I can’t stand disorganization, and someone has to make the decisions…

Clara and I get along the best, We see eye to eye on many things (except politics) and both do not suffer fools gladly. She told me she liked me when I first came into the department and told her I couldn’t work in the seafood dept because I almost threw up in training when the trainer was gutting a whole fish, and admired the fact I could be that honest… I’ve been over to her home to work on her computer, meet her husband and a couple of her kids. A big Harley bike riding family, she and her husband make beautiful leather cowboy boots that sell for up to a thousand dollars a pair. She, like me went to work mainly for the benefits.

Megan is the baby of the group, only 25, and rarely ever cusses, but loves to whine and complain about work, hence the nickname. Clara and I more than make up for her lack of language though, even though it’s against company policy. We have declared our room a “cuss away” zone, and more than one employee (including the boss) has made use of it from time to time.

Simple came from India four years ago, and it’s always interesting to listen to her tell about what life was like living there for her first 26 years. She married an American in an arranged marriage where she never saw her future husband until ten days before the wedding, and never kissed him until after the ceremony. She has a little boy now, but has separated from her husband, something she hasn’t told her family back home yet…

Stephanie, or Steph as she likes to go by, works only a couple days a week in the production room, filling in where needed. She is a very nice lady, but Clara doesn’t care for her much because she talks all the time. She just reconciled with her second husband for the fourth time, has a son that ended up in jail for a week, and a daughter that is causing problems as well. But she always comes to work with a smile on her face.

Like I said earlier, the job isn’t hard. We’re all just making 20 cents above minimum wage, but with 10 percent unemployment in the region, we’re thankful for the steady work and the health coverage that kicks in in nine days. I told Clara today I know I’m not working up to my potential right now, but I keep reminding myself I’m here for the health care, to get my prostate biopsy done and any treatments I might need. I’ve put other stuff on hold for now to take care of this. But down the road I have other plans, Terry and I have moved in together now (more on that on a future post), and we’ve talked about what we’d like to see happen by the end of the year. Will I be working at the grocery store at that point? I don’t know yet.

But I’d sure like to grow back my goatee that the company made me shave off as a condition of hire…