busy as a one legged man at a…

Yeah, that’s me, no time to blog, or read any either. Been working full out at the new job (starting in the wee hours of the morning) trying to learn it enough by the time the store opens on Monday at 9 AM. This is the second WinCo to open in Spokane, Washington, the first one made 2.3 million dollars in the first 6 days it was open…
I work with 21 others who are all just as tired today. I started out assigned in the seafood dept, but after cleaning out one crab and watching a trainer gut a 25 pound halibut this morning, I was turning as green as the sea, and was re-assigned to what is called the “cheese island” and “production room” making ready to eat meals, party trays and cutting the cheese (don’t go there…) and vacuum sealing it to sell in one and two pound blocks. I keep reminding myself I’m doing this for the benefits and I’m lucky to have found this job in this economy (there are 239 employees at my store and they had over 4500 applications).
When I haven’t been working, I’ve been on the phone with my realtor and the contractor in charge of repairing my parents old place trying to get everything sorted. No luck so far, just alot of frustration.

And when I haven’t been doing those two things, I’ve been over at Terry’s new house patching, repairing, and painting now. I’m SO tired these days I can’t see straight. But I’m off Sunday to rest. Oh wait… No, open house at my new job, more painting and new door and window locks to install at the house, and two errands to run too…

*Sigh*

In the last week I’ve been at my house only one afternoon…

I feel like I’ve all but moved in with Terry already…

I think next Monday night I may actually sleep in my bed for a change…

But life isn’t going to slow down for me anytime soon, in fact it is getting busier.
I may be ending this blog before long, this is my 493rd post, and as someone who loves round numbers, 500 may be it, in fact I have a final post already written, I’m going to wait and see if I can really walk away from here or not, I don’t know for sure yet. I’ve tried before and couldn’t do it, and I have a couple new posts roughed, if I could only find the time to write them. I may just cut way back and visit and write updates when I can.

Take care all.

Afterthought: I’ve just read this and realised how down this might sound, and that’s not the truth at all. Life is good, and although I’m quite tired at the moment, I am also very happy too, so no worries, OK?

birthday thoughts

I’ll be turning fifty this July 2nd.

I’m having alot of trouble with this one. 30 didn’t bother me, or 40 either. But 50, there’s something about it that bothers me, makes me think about how long I have left here.
Mortality and all that shit…
Maybe it’s because my parents are gone now, maybe because it’s always in the back of my head that my wife died at 46 and who knows how much time we really have left…

I was just reading my friend Deb’s latest post, talking about her patients (she’s a nurse) that are dying, and how she was telling a daughter who’s mother is terminal that it’s OK to die.

I tell people I’m not worried about dying, and that I know there is something that comes after this life, that our souls go somewhere. I really believe that. But there are times when I recall sitting by my wife’s bedside after she had slipped into a coma, and thinking about how the doctors say patients in comas can still hear the people around them, and are still in there processing thoughts. I wonder now what was she thinking, knowing that she was dying. It takes me to a sad and melancholy place when I think about it for too long.

I remember my mom telling me that when she woke up and found my dad had died in his sleep next to her, that his hands were clinched into fists on his chest, and I’ve wondered why, what was he thinking and feeling in those last moments of his life?

Last August as I held my mother’s hand as she gasped for air with lungs that didn’t want to work because of Parkinson’s, I saw in her eyes that she knew this was it, that she was dying. The last thing she told me was it hurts, before she thankfully passed out for the last time… But the way she looked at me, and then past me, will stay with me the rest of my life…

I’m not afraid of being dead. I think I’m afraid of how I’m going to die. Or of dying alone, with no one there with me. Maybe I’ve just seen too much of it in the past few years, and I’m still processing it all. I don’t know. But the emotions that well up in me at times like this when I write about it tells me I still have stuff to work out.

And turning fifty just makes me feel it a little bit more.

fluff four: technicolor puppet music

I was checking for new Coldplay videos a while back and found this newer one from their EP album Prospekt’s March, which included material not released on Viva La Vida. It’s a fun video, and the puppetry is good. If you haven’t watched it already, enjoy.

fluff three: dare to play (a meme of sorts)

This is how we go about this one: If you leave a comment to this post asking me to, I’ll list five things I associate with you. They might make sense or they might be totally random, then you post that list with your commentary added to your own Blog. I and other people get our lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.

Cat offered me her associations with these five words listed below. My commentary follows each of her words.

Sweet – Well thanks Cat, I don’t think too many guys like being thought of as sweet, it doesn’t mix with the image they want for themselves, but I have been called this many times in the past, so what can I say?

Kind – Another word some guys don’t like to have associated with them, but in this case I don’t mind, and I think it is a good trait to have, if everyone was a little more kind to each other, this world really would be a better place.

Talented – In some areas sure, we all have our strong points. One of mine is fixing things (can’t wait to start working on Terry’s new home!) and I do seem to have an eye for taking a good picture here and there…

Political – Heh, heh, yeah. I love me a good debate over politics and have some pretty strong opinions on it, as anyone reading my blog for a while can attest to. If Cat and I lived in the same city, we’d be getting together regularly to discuss the latest goings on in Washington…

Photographer – Sometimes I’m still uncomfortable being called this, because I think I’m faking it, and someone is going to figure that out. I look at other photographers work and think I’m so not as good as they are, but then I get some people telling me they wish they could take photos as good as mine… We’re our own worst enemies I think. I still have so much more I want to do, and I will get there, it just takes time. Now that I’ve found a good part time job to keep me from starving I feel the creative mojo coming back (stress kills creativeness I’ve noticed). And I’m not so afraid to spend a bit more of my savings to further my business now that I know there will be income to replace it.

jackets

Yes, interrupting my fluff pieces yet again, I should never try to do a series…

I’m not a clothes horse, nor do I shop “brands”, with the one exception being Columbia winter jackets. I am however a self proclaimed jacket whore, I like nice comfy ones to wear, and I’ve been in the need of some new mid and lightweight ones since I lost so much weight two years ago, and skipped winter last year by living down under. So last Saturday when Terry and I went shopping at a closeout shop looking for a dining room set for her new house, I looked through the men’s clothing section and found a jacket that looks almost like this one. Terry really liked it on me, and while checking it over, I mentioned the name on the label, Michael Kor. She got all excited and said don’t you know who he is? He’s a judge on Project Runway and one of the most well known designers in America today... I just shrugged, I liked the jacket, I didn’t care who made it. Turns out I got a great deal though, the picture of this one came from a discount site where it was selling for $149.39, a 54% discount according to the company. Oh, and a 10% discount if you ordered today.

I only paid $19.39, including tax…

And it feels nice on me.

fluff two: finger lickin’ funny…

Somehow I got signed up to KFC’s “send me info, i.e ads” service a while back, but finally they had something of interest in one of the emails, a link to this video which is funny as hell, and then a second one that KFC made that was a half arsed corporate attempt to be as funny as this one is. I didn’t bother putting it up, because it was horrible. They had a old guy dressed like the colonel that kept licking his fingers dressed up like William Wallace (Braveheart), Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon), and Mad Max. It was painful to watch. But this Jimmy Kimmel skit is pure gold, enjoy. Oh, and I loved the cameo of Captain C.B. Sully Sullenberger, a true hero for sure.

awkward…

I interrupt my fluff posts to bring you this brief update..

Sunday evening at Terrys my phone rang. It was my old girlfriend Karen calling to say hi… I hadn’t talk to her since shortly before I first met Terry last November and I was kinda surprised to hear from her. She asked about Chelsea, my kids, and how I was doing. I made small talk for a couple minutes and then told her I had met a new girl up here and that we were just getting ready to watch a movie. I had to tell her three times because she couldn’t understand me (Karen has nerve deafness) and I felt self conscience having to speak up to have her hear me…

Even though we completely trust each other, my green eyed Terry also has a self proclaimed green eyed jealous streak, so I was wondering how she’d react after I got off the phone. She was fine though, and we enjoy the movie, one of her favorites, Young Frankenstein.
We had a nice weekend again, except for the fact we didn’t get any “alone” time due to her son having a friend sleep over for two nights. Couldn’t complain really though, because the friend’s parents watch Terry’s son last month over the Valentine Day weekend so we could get away to a swanky hotel in downtown Spokane for a romantic stay. Hopefully they enjoyed the couple nights alone this weekend…

Now back to the regularly scheduled fluff, carry on…

fluff one: tagged by jen…

I was tagged by Jen (and one of her latest posts is an example of how well she writes) to do this interesting meme last week. This is the first of four light automatically posted posts of the fluffy kind… whilst I concentrate my energies in other areas. I probably won’t be able to get around your blogs either for a bit, so my apologies in advance. See you on the flip side…

Would you do crystal meth if it were legalised?
I’ve answered this one before, no fucking way, this stuff will kill you, why would I want to do that?

Abortion, for or against?
Neither, I’m pro choice, and feel that one person’s personal beliefs should never be imposed on another.

Would the country fall if there was a woman president?
Of course not!

Do you believe in the death penalty?
Yes.

Do you wish marijuana would be legalised already?
I go back and forth on this one. The legal system wastes too much time on prosecuting offenders now, but I do think it can lead to the use of other more serious drugs.

Or cause well brought up daughters to hook up with loser lazyass boyfriends…

Do you believe in God?
I believe there is life after death, but someone running the show? Not so sure, but if there is someone, he, she, or it needs a refresher course in world management…

Do you think same sex marriage should be legalised?
Abso-fucking-lutely. I find it hard to understand why it hasn’t been. (good answer Jen!)

Do you think it’s wrong so many Hispanics are moving to the USA?
Yes,for the ones doing it illegally. I think is utter bullshit that Americans are having to learn a second language to get jobs in their own country because the illegals won’t learn our language.

But for those that come here legally, apply for citizenship, and learn the language, let me be the first to shake your hand and welcome you.

A 12 year old girl has a baby…should she keep it?
If she has a strong support system with her parents and family, maybe. Otherwise the baby should be adopted, and the 12 year old and her environment should be investigated and steps made to prevent it from happening again until she is of age.

Should the alcohol drinking age be lowered to 18?
I like what Jen said on this: I don’t think there should be a magic age for anything. Just because you turn 18 doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly come over all grown up and responsible. Some 15 year olds are more mature than some 18 year olds. There is no magic age, it all gets down to what the individual is like.

As for me, it seems if we’re willing to let 18 years olds serve in the armed forces, we should let them drink too.

Should the war in Iraq be called off?
Mute point now,Obama is handling it how I felt it should be done myself. We can’t just up and leave all at once, we have too many troops there to do that logistically. And we need to help stabilise the area as much as we can during the pullout as well. I still don’t think it will work though, I think Iraq will in up in a civil war down the road…

Assisted suicide is legal…do you agree?
Yes. Another bit of that free choice thing. Governments shouldn’t mandate how you should die when you’re terminally ill (which is the only time I would approve of it, btw…).

Do you believe in spanking your children?
Yes. No belts, never hard, never when you’re angry, just a hand or small wooden mixing spoon to the rear end a couple times. My kids turn out just fine (and I did too).

Would you burn the American flag for a million dollars?
No. Wait. A million dollars is alot of money… And a flag is just a symbol… maybe I’d burn a cheap Chinese made one (crazy, huh?), take the dough and go buy a really nice American made one to replace it.

A mother is declared innocent after murdering her 5 children in a temporary insanity case…what do you think?
I’d need alot more information first. I do think many lawyers use this as a excuse to get their clients off though…

Now, I’m supposed to tag 5 people, but I’ll just say do it if you want…

Child Abuse.

The doorbell rang a few minutes ago, FedEx dropping off a book I ordered, edited and put together by a fellow blogger dealing with child abuse. I’ve been scanning through it reading bits and pieces of it. It’s not light reading in most of it, and my stomach is feeling a little sick right now to be honest. Most regular readers know my wife was a victim of it, so was my mom. Theirs was sexual only as far as I know. Stories in this book talk about the physical abuse brought on by anger as well, and it’s hard to read. Horrible beatings, drunken rage, taken out on the innocent children. The book was written in memory of Baby P, a 17-month old boy who died in London after suffering over 50 injuries over an eight month period, during which he was repeatedly seen by a social services program that failed to protect him.

There’s another reason this hits me so hard, one I’ve never told anyone before, ever.

And try as I might, after two hours of writing it out, I still can’t.

Go buy the book. All the proceeds go to charity.

weather, politics, and sci fi…

I’m sitting my couch today, still recovering from the lingering effects of my head cold, looking out of my living room window at blue skies…
sunshine…
and six inches of fucking snow frozen on my back deck…
and temperatures that belong back in January, not March!
It was -11f (-24c) two nights ago, -2f last night.
What the hell?
Damn, I’m ready for spring…

My friend Gillette has written a post that every U.S. blogger needs to read and respond too. I’m not going to here, because it would turn into a rant, but suffice to say this is important. Please go read and watch what she has put up, and then write to your Representatives, it doesn’t take that long to do really.

Ok, weather and politics done, I’m going to show a bit of my geeky side and share something from my past as well.

I’m a fan of science fiction, aways have been ever since my dad let me sit in the back bedroom with him and watch the final season of Star Trek on a little black and white TV on Friday nights at 10 pm. Really late to let a 9 year old stay up back then, and we watched in the bedroom because my mom refused to watch that “crap” on our big TV in the living room. Silly little show that was a waste of time she’d say, something I teased her about years later whenever I went to see one of the movies spawned from the silly little show…
Anyway, I grew up watching them all, UFO, Space 1999, The Time Tunnel, 2001, Logan’s Run, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, etc. And read lots of books, like Rendezvous With Rama, The Martian Chronicles, and my all time favorite series, the Gaean Trilogy by John Varley.
I thought out a complete book idea back in high school when the first Star Trek novels began to come out, and thought about writing it more than a few times (in college I took a writing course where the instructor said I had some talent to write, and she had taught Clive Cussler). I looked into it once, contacting the publisher of the novels, only to find out it wasn’t the type of story they wanted, because back then they wanted stories written within certain guidelines and mine didn’t fit that mold.
It was an alternate Star Trek universe story, where a Klingon goes back in time, killing James Kirk as a child, to change the future. The protagonist in my story was Kirk’s sister, who was born after his death and became a high tech spy, working to help earth defend against the overwhelming encroachment of the Klingon Empire in the revised future. When she discovers by accident the truth of what happen (through a device called the Guardian Of Forever, which only hardcore fans will know of), she sacrifices her life to save that of her brother and restore the timeline, only she finds a way to survive in the end and meets Kirk in the restored universe, and I was going to leave it open ended to allow the possibility for more books.

Later on in the nineties, several of the spinoff shows began doing alternate universe storylines, and now the new movie coming out has taken it to a new level. A Romulan travels back in time to destroy Vulcan and Earth to change history, and old Spock has to travel back in time and get his young self and young Kirk to help repair the timeline. Hmmm, sounds vaguely familiar.
Oh well, this new movie looks impressive to me, and even many non sci fi people are saying it looks good, watch the trailer and see what you think.